Manly Boys Play with Adult Toys

Stand me up next to your average flaming queer stereotype, and yes I will appear straight. But line me with up with some straightboys, and a game of find the faggot will end fast

I am discovering, and really enjoying now, the times when Its really damn obvious I am gay. It's usually little odd pleasures. Probably the most obvious thing is my new fondness for titties that was not present before I accepted my gayness. Before they were foreign objects that I was supposed to like and be aroused from, but I just didn't understand at all. And now they are naughty toys that I can play with occasionally and other boys can't, but I still get no arousal from. It really does feel like I am a kid who has just discovered, and been given a huge chest of toys that very few kids are allowed to play with.

When I come across things now that other boys/men seem so capable of, and are SUPPOSED to be able to do, I have a good time with it. These used to be painful angst filled shortcomings, which are now giddy times that seem like I am playing.

Something as simple as going to Home Depot, picking up a hanger-rod, and sawing off the amount of ft that I need myself, is now fun and I get a childlike kick out of it, while when I was closeted it was something to worry about - Because, you know, sawing a single piece of wood is a huge accomplishment for a faggot haha. There used to be an overwhelming thought of: "Shit! If I can't do this simple thing too, than thats more proof your Nancy ass is gay, and wants a ride". No matter how small or simple the task was, inadequacy and proof of manhood/straightness always clouded everything and really got in the way. This even carried over past coming out, and there might be small traces of it left.

What is ironic is that further embrace and acceptance of my gayness has made me more of a man. This is not just in terms of general comfort/confidence in one's self, but how that truly affects things that should have always been simple. The freedom allows me not to worry about these stupid things. Without that worry and fear I am far more capable and a shitload more fun. Little things missed/avoided and not learned as a boy growing up are now fun and make me feel like a little boy and a man at once. If ever that thought/fear of what it would mean If I'm not good at something that real straight men should be capable of, I quickly realize "Shit sucka your Nancy ass IS gay and does wants a ride (but also want to drive as well)"
It also opens up alot of things, like say if I every wanted to be a hair stylist or designer...

Well shit I'm gay now, I can do that. Also another realization that comes to mind occasionally is "Hey wait Im gay now, I'm supposed to suck at this shit, that's one stereotype that I will admit to fully" hahaha. Another frequent disclaimer I find myself saying alot lately is "When I was straight..." I LOVE that line, cuz well.. I never was straight, but there were times I fully believed it to be possible, and there was the mentality to live my life as a straight boy - who happens to be in touch with his feminine side, watches decorating shows on HGTV, watches the Golden Girls, sucks at sports, and knows nothing about sports except which athletes are hot. Who is my favorite football team? Patriots. Why? Cuz Tom Brady is hot

Listening to:
Deeper Shade of Soul by Urban Dance Squad