Obsession ... for men

I may need to either lower my standards, expand my tastes, move more quickly, or stop obsessing. I probably need to do all of that.

I find it is rare for me to get really interested in something... Not alot catches my attention at first, Not big on hobbies (sometimes I feel like I need some). But when I do get really interested I can obsess about it and bury my head into it. This is true with hobbies, music, people ... boys

It's either love on 1st contact or a long drawn out realization. Where is my middle?

I've been listening to a few songs nonstop lately: Rebellion(Lies) by Arcade Fire - this obsession is gonna go on 2 yrs since it came out in 2003, White Russian Galaxy by The Crimea, The Promise by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and a few others

The one that has really caught my fancy is White Russian Galaxy by The Crimea. I don't know whether its my mood that sets me in a place to really take to a song or the song that changes my mood? Which comes first, not sure. It may be the mood first, but the song eventually does alter my world.

For some reason, as if reality must shift to match the soundtrack that I am setting, life will alter according to my listening. Once one obsession begins in one area, another will have to resurface or open up in another area. And so of course, the doorway to my boycrazyness has suddenly reopened!

LET THE STALKING CONTINUE

A few key words on a public profile is sometimes all that it will take. Now a part of me is thinking "What if starfucker sees what I am writing here"
1. I don't advertise this blog.
2. He doesn't seem like a blogger.
3. If he has gone this far there must be some minor curiosity or he just may be having a good time laughing at me, much like I do with female friends at work when we make fun of their stalkers (who are actually real ones)
4. Who cares?
5. Who Knows?
6. If he has gone through the trouble of reading my blogs he would realize that my blogs rock! and if he doesn't he is not worthy of the greatness (and the tactless similes) hahaha

I really do need a hobby probably. Why cant I redirect this energy on other guys? Im just not interested, sometimes I wish I could lower my standards or change my tastes... but ya cant force attraction can you? I am obsessed with at least 1 straight boy, that if he were gay I'd be all over. But I cant direct my energy there cuz its a dead end... well Starfucker was a dead end a long time ago, but I seem to be trying to force that open, but at least he's gay.

Maybe I need to change the song on my playlist... but its soooooo good

Obsession ... its intoxicating

Currently listening to:
White Russian Galaxy by The Crimea over and over and over again